“I’m sorry, I can’t give love if I don’t feel it”

“I’m sorry, I can’t give love if I don’t feel it, I can’t fake it.”

Seems like there are several communities currently who are realizing the benefits of talking with honesty, authenticity, and vulnerability to help make deeper connections. Yet sometimes it can seem that being honest has gotten confused with brutally honest. For example, saying something honest even though if might really hurt the other person. At least they are “honest” right? or wrong? Is the action of love in that moment more powerful or are the words that are spoken more?

We can all be on this desperate search for a genuine feeling of love and feeling of intimacy through honesty. But does that mean we have to compromise the action of love at the cost of trying to be honest?

What if it is our actions that eventually lead us into the feeling of love?

This is the point Tim Keller makes in the closing paragraph of Chapter 3.

By using our power to choose the action of love, rather than the feeling of love, we are promised to eventually have that feeling. Jesus when He died on the cross obviously was not in a position of “feeling in love.” He was just betrayed, mocked, physically abused, and tortured. Yet He stayed. He desired to make us into who we were originally created to be, not because he thought we were all so lovely to him, but because He wants to make us lovely. 
Each day we get to display that same type of love to one another. A love that chooses the other every day. Choosing to still believe in the promises they gave however many years ago. We don’t just stay with our spouse because we think they are perfect or the “bees knees” all the time. We decide to stay with them and in it, so that we can both continue to grow and learn to accept our truest identity in Christ.

When we make a concrete choice and decision to do something in love, there is power behind it. There is a define voice that is speaking to them that is much louder than just words.

The cross is the most defined choice to love than anything else that has happened on this earth. Jesus showed a demonstration and declaration of a forever eternal love to save us but to only choose us as His own again. Let our marriages display a similar powerful covenant in the small details of everyday life. 

Application

Married Couples

Write down one or two actions of love that show your spouse the love you have for them and then do it without speaking to them while you do it.

Engaged Couples

Start to learn about how your fiancé receives love (The Five Love Languages). By what actions do they feel the most loved and decide to do that for them.

If you’re just joining us, you can catch up here:

• NEWEST ADDITION TO APRIL MAURA PHOTOGRAPHY: MARRIAGE SERIES AUTHOR
• SEARCHING FOR THE SECRET OF MARRIAGE
• UNVEILING THE GREAT SECRET OF MARRIAGE
• BEING LOVED SO YOU MAY LOVE
• POWER TO CHOOSE IN MARRIAGE
• DO YOU KEEP YOUR PROMISES?

AUTHOR OF THE MARRIAGE SERIES: Taylor Wild

 

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Photographer: APRIL MAURA PHOTOGRAPHY

Workshop with: DANIEL KIM PHOTOGRAPHY

Second shooter ASHLEY KIM

Florals CARTE BLANCHE DESIGN

Ribbons SILK & WILLOW

Styling AYO FEMI CREATIVE STUDIO

Paper goods FOIL & INK

Linen LA TAVOLA

Rentals CLASSIC PARTY RENTALS

Hair & make-up TANGLED TWISTS

Location SAGUARO LAKE RANCH

Models AMBER MONTOYA & KAOA NEWHOUSE

Gown REEM ACRA