In the previous post, I mentioned how a wife is a strong helper and a husband is the headship. They both carry out distinct giftings into the meaning of Marriage. We’re going to go a little deeper into each purpose and see them come together in a beautiful union.
In the beginning of Jordan and I’s marriage, my definition of a strong helper was that I needed to do whatever I thought Jordan needed . I thought this was all a part of being in the “most submissive role.” As I learned early in our marriage, this was the last thing Jordan wanted from me. He didn’t like that it seemed as if I had no choice…That was groundbreaking for us, because I started to understand my own choice and willingness to love and live a life of sacrificial submission proved a lot more powerful for our marriage.
Kathy Keller explains her own personal “ah-ha” moment in this same scenario:
“I discovered here that my submission in marriage was a gift I offered, not a duty coerced from me.”
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Kathy Keller read these exact verses and saw this:
“How could it possibly injure me to be asked to play out the “Jesus role” in my marriage?”
We get to see the beauty of the Second Person of the Godhead willingly and wholeheartedly accept His role as the Father’s Son. We see that He freely and voluntary submit’s His whole LIFE under the headship of the Father. There is eager desire within the heart of Jesus’ to stay connected to His Father’s heart and remain in the most intimate relationship possible.
As wives, we have a choice to voluntarily accept this life-giving calling in our marriage. This is not insignificant, as you can see why. Jesus’ willingness lead to a life redeemed, restored, and glorified to the Father for all mankind. Can you imagine how powerful our choice to a submissive life can be for our marriage?
This is the kind of “dance” that we as males and females have been invited to reflect.
In the Godhead there are three Persons. Jesus is not any more or any less important than the Father, and the Holy Spirit is neither more or less important than Jesus. Each Person of the Godhead is needed to create the Trinity. As Jesus’ role is completely different than the role of the Father, and same with the Holy Spirit, each having their own strengths.
At first glanced, you may have seen “Headship” and thought of a dominant role that is controlling and makes the decision for everything. There is a deeper understanding of what the men’s role in marriage actually looks like.
Men are called to be “servant-leaders.”
“In the dance of the Trinity, the greatest is the one who is most self-effacing, most sacrificial, most devoted to the good of the Other.”
In present day, we are use want an upgrade of “more.” Be more, achieve more, and have more. We want to try to achieve a higher ranking or status. We see it even in the smallest of ways. For example, being a Gold Star rewards member for a airline and getting upgraded to first class. Even the disciples of Jesus we so concerned with who was going to get to sit to next to Jesus in a position of higher power.
However, in the Trinity, the Greatest was the least. The Righteous was the lowest. The Strongest was the weakest. Jesus turns the tables upside down when it comes to status. His compassionate heart towards people like us on earth redefines what headship and authority and greatness truly looks like. And it’s not by a worldly definition.
A husband gets to display a sacrificial authority towards his wife from the example of Jesus’ servant leadership.
Here it is that ties both the woman and man together as one:
“Both women and men get to “play the Jesus role” in marriage – Jesus in his sacrificial authority, Jesus is his sacrificial submission.” – Kathy Keller
Married Couples – Each person decide how you are going to encompass your role as a “Jesus role?” Write that down, discuss with one another, and try to live that out this week.
Engaged Couples – Write down what you think your “Jesus role” will look like in your future marriage and have discussion time together.
If you’re just joining us, you can catch up here:
- NEWEST ADDITION TO APRIL MAURA PHOTOGRAPHY: MARRIAGE SERIES AUTHOR
- SEARCHING FOR THE SECRET OF MARRIAGE
- UNVEILING THE GREAT SECRET OF MARRIAGE
- BEING LOVED SO YOU MAY LOVE
- POWER TO CHOOSE IN MARRIAGE
- DO YOU KEEP YOUR PROMISES?
- “I’M SORRY, I CAN’T GIVE LOVE IF I DON’T FEEL IT.”
- COMMON PURPOSE DRIVES FRIENDSHIP IN MARRIAGE
- PURPOSE IN MARRIAGE
- AS TIME GOES ON
- THE GREAT DANCE
AUTHOR OF THE MARRIAGE SERIES: Taylor Wild
Note: We do not hold degrees in psychology, nor are we doctors, but people who have a heart to share wisdom.
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