Living Your “Healthiest Ever After”

Living Your "Healthiest Ever After" | Prescott Private Estate Wedding Photos | Scottsdale Wedding Photos | April Maura Photography | www.aprilmaura.com_2785.jpg

Can you believe it? After this blog post, we are only one chapter away from finishing the book The Meaning of Marriage. I can’t really believe time has already gone this fast, and that we are already at this point. I can start to feel it in my bones, that we are almost there. This has been such a great resource to use as a guide for Marriage. Through the experience of our personal marriage, nothing is like experiencing life and marriage itself. Sometimes we can read all the books in the world, and still not feel totally equipped to handle certain situations that come up on our own. Because life is a bit crazy and unpredictable right? But I do have to say, this book has enlightened my own eyes to some different dynamics about marriage that maybe I wasn’t able to identify in my own, and now have been able to. The truth and love wrapped up in the words by the Kellers have a sharp but gentle way about them. So as we go into the last part of Chapter 7, let’s continue to ask God to open our eyes and hearts wide to receive the grace He has over our marriages and allow His Spirit to easily and gently show us exactly what He wants to for exactly where we are at.

Living “Healthiest Ever After”

We are continuing on with the process of dating and seeking marriage. Even if you are already married, it is good to remember back to these days of dating and remember the foundation of how marriage is to be sought out. It’s never too late to implement new counsel for our marriage relationship.

It is common to see dating couples either to go too fast in their relationship, whether that is sexually or emotionally, or to be to content with a level of relationship that is short of being married. Some prefer to just stay comfortable at a lower commitment level while others tend to run the passionate meter up too quickly. When you feel like you have found the person you want to marry, it is so difficult to just be okay with not getting too passionate. Understandably so, our human nature desires to move forward with the person we love, mentally, emotionally, and physically. All three of those areas begin to affect one another. But without some parameters before taking those three aspects to another level without being married, can affect the healthiness of future relationships.

Prescott Private Estate Wedding Photos | Scottsdale Wedding Photos | April Maura Photography | www.aprilmaura.com_2775.jpg

Practical Counsel

Tim Keller suggests some practical counsel for marriage seekers, who desire to be married and also desire to be “healthily married.” Maybe you already have someone you know you want to marry, or maybe you haven’t found someone yet but still desire to be married one day, the counsel he shares will help you understand the gift singleness, what and how, and healthy preparation for getting married. I thought it would be fun to share them with you because we all love when something is more practical right? Here are Keller’s :

“Recognize there are seasons for not seeking marriage.”
- When there are new seasons of change in your life, whether its career, moving home, or grief, these are probably times when to not getting involved into a new relationship.
“Understand the gift of singleness.”
- While being single, this is a unique time to have flexibility and availability to doing things that maybe you wouldn’t naturally be able to while being married.
“Get more serious about seeking marriage as you get older.”
- As you begin to get older, you can start recognizing and identifying that dating is your purpose to marriage. If you are older, and comfortable with only dating, consider the emotional pull that is going on between relationships.
“Do not allow yourself deep emotional involvement with a non-believing person.”
- If the person you are attracted to, doesn’t understand and accept your heart for Jesus, that might be difficult to feel connected to each other in the deep intimate relationship that marriage is.
“Feel attraction in the most comprehensive sense.”
- This is looking beyond the physical looks and into the depth of character and quality of the person.
“Don’t let things become too passionate too quickly”
- This is challenging when you believe you have fallen in love, however if this happens, it is easier to trigger deep passion for someone you might not really know.
“Don’t become a faux spouse for someone who won’t commit to you.”
- By letting a relationship linger on for too long might be little yellow sign of something going on. Maybe there is a conversation that needs to be had.
“Get and submit lots of community input.”
- Christian communities have a great level of importance on marriage and desire to see them thrive. Surrounding yourself with trusted and like-minded believers to allow them to speak into your life will help you get a unbiased vision of the potential marriage relationship.

I don’t see this points as “rules to live by” necessarily but I do believe that there are some greater depths of truth to these points that really do make a difference of setting yourself up to live in a thriving and healthy marriage.

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend buying a copy of this book, The Meaning of Marriage, if you are on your own pursuit of marriage, despite being single or married. You’ll be able to read up on how Keller goes into detail about how this practical counsel can be applied to the solid foundation of marriage. I just shortly brushed over each one.

Application

Married Couples: Write down areas you feel like God has brought up in your marriage that you desire to be healthy. Communicate to each other your answers, and identify what unhealthy patterns have been established. Ask God for wisdom and for counsel as to how to relearn those patterns.

Engaged Couples: Reflect on where you are at in your engagement. Go through the points of practical counsel and identify with a couple of them such as: Have you had input from a trusted community? Then ask the question and talk about it: What does a healthy marriage look like to you? and Why does it look that way?

I am excited to see how God continues to move through your marriages and encourages you and your spouse into living a healthier marriage through this book and blog! We will continue on with the last Chapter of The Meaning of Marriage next month!

See JR and Britnie’s original Prescott wedding here!

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