Having a willing heart is everything. Willing by definition means “ready, eager, or prepared to do something.” I also read this definition, “power of choosing,” thanks to Merriam-Webster. In a loving relationship, a willing heart, needs to be mutually present. For the person who is choosing to love and for the person who is receiving the love. If a heart grows in opposition or reluctant in giving and receiving, tension will begin to grow. Distrust, hardness, and impatience will take root rather than belief, softness, and gentleness.
If you have realized your marriage is experiencing a love drought, it is time to ask this question:
Are you willing to give yourself sacrificially and for the best interest of the other?
We all have choices to make. Everyday we are faced with little detailed choices that we aren’t even aware of anymore. In those everyday choices, loving our spouses sacrificially is an important one that sadly becomes one of those mundane, “I forgot,” unintentional, kind of choices. Which explains why you might be in a “love drought.” It is time to begin making our own decisions to love our spouses regardless of their performance and without keeping record of wrongs.
Loving You Is Easy
Loving this kind of love, is not easy. The love we think we know, we actually have no idea about. The former love we all think we know about is, “He makes loving him easy.” But once we begin to put into practice the kind of love with a imperfect human that falls short and disappoints us, all of a sudden, we want to escape it, because it is too hard for us to possibly love someone who has hurt or disappointed us.
So how can we love the person who is closest to us, and who we believe is the man or woman of our dreams? It seems unnatural to live in such grace. Living in that kind of grace can even be offensive to us. It is a supernatural love coming from one Person, who loves us easily.
“John is calling us to cruciform love, that is, love that shapes itself to the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. (cruci = “cross” and form = “in the shape of”).” – Paul David Tripp
Jesus defined Love for us. He was the living reality on earth of God’s selfless, offensive, unconditional, and radical grace. He loved the ones who were shamed upon. He reached for the ones who were mocked. He kneeled down to the ones who were undeserving. He forgave those whose sin was deemed “unforgivable” by others. Not to mention, He would then defend them and speak words of mercy.
His life led to his death, but His death then led to eternal victory. God has this crazy and insane love for us. We have to experience HIs love for ourselves before we can ever even think we can extend that kind of super natural love. It is only by His mighty power that we might be able to love in the same way.
I know in my natural state of mind and emotions, when I am hurt, the last thing I want to do is move toward that person. The last thing I want to do is kneel down beside them. But when I have come before Jesus with my imperfections and sin, all of sudden, I become that person who is in need of grace and mercy. I am in desperate need to know I am loved, I am worthy, and I am valued despite the actions I do.
To build a “Cruciform” love in marriage, is to know the crucifixion of Jesus and to know the love that was demonstrated in His crucifixion.
If you have realized your marriage is experiencing a love drought, may God bring your heart to a place of humility and self-response. May He open your eyes to realize the love He has poured out onto you despite what it is you have done or the situation your marriage is in. May He flood your marriage with His unconditional grace that abounds so much more over sin. With Him and in Him, we can ALWAYS hope, ALWAYS believe, and ALWAYS love. Jesus is always willing to choose love for us because of His sacrificial action of death on a cross.
This week, I feel this urge to encourage you to read these verses from 1 John and then pray these couple points over your marriage:
1 John 4:7-12, 16b-21
Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. 18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 19 We love each other[a] because he loved us first. 20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer,[b] that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? 21 And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.[c]
Everyday for the next week, take a minute to pray to Jesus about your marriage.
- Thank Him for how He loves you, how He has forgiven you, and is continuing to love you. Thank Him for your marriage.
- Ask the Holy Sprit:
- For wisdom in how to pray and what to pray for.
- To make Jesus’ love real to you, to help you rest in His love and forgiveness towards you.
- To help you love your spouse with His love, to love him/her with the same super natural love He has shown you.
AUTHOR OF THE MARRIAGE SERIES: Taylor Wild
Note: We do not hold degrees in psychology, nor are we doctors, but people who have a heart to share wisdom.
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Getting Ready Venue: VEE QUIVA HOTEL and Casino
Ceremony Venue: THE WHISPERING TREE RANCH
Reception Venue: THE WHISPERING TREE RANCH
Photographer: APRIL MAURA PHOTOGRAPHY
Caterer: GIDDY UP FIXINS
Florist: THE WHISPERING TREE RANCH
Dress: DAUGHTERS OF SIMONE
Make-up/Hair: Rachel Beckham
Bride’s Shoes brand: STEVE MADDEN
Bridesmaid dresses (store): FREE PEOPLE AND NORDSTROM RACK
Grooms attire: MEN’S WAREHOUSE
Groom’s tie: TIE ONE ON
DJ/Band: Taylor Ouellette
Wedding Cake: Lisa Romero
Linens: THE WHISPERING TREE RANCH
Calligraphy/ Invitations: Sue Clegg (Roxi’s Aunt)