Commitment 6: We will work to protect our marriage.
There has been a reoccurring theme throughout Paul Tripp’s “What Did You Expect?” book. He doesn’t talk about marriages that have been destroyed by one, significant, unfaithful choice. He mentions marriages that have been subtly and quietly ignored for multiple years. He is speaking out for the marriages that have become unnoticed, quieted, and neglected. These are the marriages that have shown up most in his office. The kind that have been good marriages, but become too easy and effortless. The once excited bride and groom who would do anything to keep their marriage new and fresh, become a bored and lazy husband and wife, willing to let a 20 year marriage go.
How does this happen? We are fearful of being in a marriage that will be decided by one bad decision, but what if we should be respectfully fearful of the everyday small, minute, neglectful choices. Those are the ones that will add up and leave us in a mess we are unable to dig ourselves out of.
But with God and humble hearts, we remain with a hope and a future for good.
A Coasting Marriage
Coasting seems to be a desirable word. A desirable way to live life. But when we coast through life, are we really ever being challenged enough to become our best? This is the same within our marriages, if we are just coasting and not allowing the challenges of life happen, or the differences in our marriage to grow us, then what will happen to the marriage of unity that is suppose to grow through the hardships of life? It is vital for us to identify any coasting symptoms in our marriage, so we may give it more of our attention, care, and energy, before we find it in a “crisis” situation.
Below you will find indictions of “A Coasting Marriage,” according to Tripp.
6 Signs of a Coasting Marriage
- Visual Lethargy – Where is there evidence in your marriage that you have been living with lazy eyes?
- Habit Inconsistency – Are there good habits that were once a regular part of your life together that you have now forsaken?
- Laziness – Where is laziness damaging the health and beauty of your marriage?
- Impatience – Are there places where you are demanding in an instant what will only be formed in a process?
- Responding in Discouragement – Where are you tempted to respond in discouragement and fear?
- Dining with the Enemy – Are there places right here, right now, in your marriage where you are giving the Devil an opportunity?
Go through each question with your spouse to identify what part of your marriage could be considered coasting. With God, your marriage is not left alone to just figure out on your own. He gives u resources and tools to help us. Commit yourself to making choices based off the coasting habit you and your spouse have identified. Think through what practical change you can make and begin to implement it this week!
AUTHOR OF THE MARRIAGE SERIES: Taylor Wild
Note: We do not hold degrees in psychology, nor are we doctors, but people who have a heart to share wisdom.
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Many thanks to the wedding creative team who helped in the celebration of two souls committing the promise of forever:
Ceremony Venue: SAGUARO LAKE GUEST RANCH
Reception Venue: SAGUARO LAKE GUEST RANCH
Photographer: APRIL MAURA PHOTOGRAPHY
Wedding Planner: RAMSEY THE GREAT DJ PRODUCTIONS
Caterer: HEIDI’S EVENTS & CATERING
Florist: CAMELBACK FLOWERSHOP
Bride’s Dress: Martina Liana from MARIÉE BRIDAL
Bride’s Make-up: MARY FENNELLO
Bride’s Hair: Melissa Blankenship
Bride’s Veil: MARIÉE BRIDAL
Bride’s Shoes: NORDSTROM
Bridesmaid Dresses: RENT THE RUNWAY
Groom’s Attire: MEN’S WAREHOUSE
Groom’s Cufflinks: MEN’S WAREHOUSE
Groom’s Tie: TIE ONE ON
DJ/Band: RAMSEY THE GREAT DJ PRODUCTIONS
Videographer: SOMETHING NEW MEDIA
Wedding Cake: INSPIRED SUGAR CAKES
Rentals: PARTY PEOPLE RENTALS
Linens: PARTY PEOPLE RENTALS
Invitations: BEACON LANE
Bride’s Engagement Ring: JOSEPH SCHUBACH JEWELERS
Groom’s Engagement Ring: LARSON JEWELERS